Is there something in your life that given the opportunity you would go back and change? Would you go back and completely avoid the situation and treat it as if it did not even exist therefore making it no longer a part of your life? Or maybe you would go back and still interact with the situation only this time around you would deal with it in a different manner, hoping that the choices you make this time would have a different affect on the outcome.
I have always thought this kind of thought is folly. Of course there are things that after the fact we all would like to possibly go back and have a do over. But then just as I told my son the other day, hind sight is always 20/20. It is easy to look back on a situation and have the exact interpretation as to how we "should have" dealt with it. We seem to forget that we usually do not have all the details in the beginning like we do in the end. We also seem to forget that there are usually always circumstances that have a way of clouding our eyes or possibly making our sight a bit rose colored.
Still we spend a lot of time pondering on the what ifs and if onlys. I have times in my past that I will have to be honest and say that I wish they could have been a bit more happier, and less hurtful. I have experiences that I wish I would not have had to endure in order to learn the lesson that I eventually gleaned from them. Yet I know also that without so many of these "times" I would not be where I am today. I would not have so many of the blessings that I have.
One may say blessings… what can you be talking about. Well for instance, my first marriage was not the best. Yet if I had not experienced it, I would not have my three wonderful children and all the wonderful things they have brought to me. I could even go as far to say that I would not have the blessing of my grandchildren as well.
I guess I always try and see the positive in things. It drives some a bit crazy. I have been accused of being one of those overly sappy kind of people who don't allow those with "real" problems to just have their issues. Yet I myself have had my fair share of hard times. I made the decision a long time ago ( I think I was 7) when my alcoholic father had me cornered in the dining room. Everyone else had made their escape and I remained. As I attempted also to leave he stopped me and told me to sit. I obeyed his command. As he sat there and attempted to intimidate me with his harsh words and stare I returned his glare. Even when he threw a knife which landed next to my ankle, I continued to stare at him. I remember vividly telling myself that I would be the only one who controlled my happiness. Now although I made that statement with as much conviction as any 7 year old could I still had years to learn it fully.
Life is not always fun. In fact many times it can be down right a pain in the ass. Yet it is what you make of it. It is what you do with what you have. So do I think I have made mistakes? Hell yea I am sure I have and I am sure I still will. Am I asking for a second chance? Only to be 20 some again so I could go out and act crazy and have twice the energy that I have now.
I have choosen one of my favorite songs for today. "Same Mistake" by James Blunt. Although it may not go along exactly with the way I feel it always makes me think on the subject. Beautiful words from a beautiful voice.
I think Sophia Loren put it best when she said "mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life."