Procrastination and Chocolate

Another glorious week of life has passed us by and I cannot help but ask myself what I have accomplished. Strangely it went past rather quickly. That is probably because it was such an enjoyable week. Not necessarily that anything special happened; in fact I spent it mostly alone. Yet the weather was quite perfect and I was able to get outdoors more than I have in some time. That always seems to lift my spirits. Even the Mercury Retrograde that everyone seems to be talking about, although I can feel it, is not affecting me in a terrible way.

It is not as if I have sat on my butt all week and absolutely done nothing. The normal chores and errands have been completed. I have my Celtic Tree Lore posts completed for the next two months. I did some deep fall cleaning. I worked outdoors of course and spent some extra time tending my flowers and gardens. I have started working on Christmas gifts. Yet still I ask myself what I have accomplished. For some time I have wanted to start seriously working on my writing yet it seems that I always find some excuse or reason not to give it the time that I really want to give it. There really is no excuse that is adequate enough although I can always find one that I deem suitable to stop me.

This morning I ran across a quote by Robert Kennedy which somewhat kicked me in the butt as if trying to tell me exactly what I need to hear. “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” It is not necessarily that I want a top ten bestseller book, although don’t get me wrong if the fate landed in my lap I would not turn my nose up at it. I just want to be able to say that I put my best foot forward and that I gave it my best attempt. Procrastination is my monster that lurks in the shadows and whispers those bad things to me that keeps me from doing the things I need to do… That and possibly a bit of senility as it seems I chase rabbits a bit more now than I ever used to. Yet even that I think could be called an excuse that I use for the dragging of my feet.

In the coming weeks and possibly longer I have promised myself to stop making excuses and to work on those things that I have kept back on the shelf telling myself that I will tend to them when I have adequate time. Really what is adequate time? Any woman knows that if we were to wait for the perfect moment to work on anything that we see as slightly selfish that it would never get done. Or at least not be given the same amount of time or importance that we give so many other things in our lives. It is not that the keeping of the household, the children, the husband, the job, and all the other things that we put before ourselves are not important. They all hold their special place in our hearts and for some no matter what we decide there are a few of those distractions that we will not budge.

Yet I do think it is important that a woman tends to herself; that she takes those special moments to treat herself and do things that she enjoys and loves. Some of us are able to do this a bit more than others. Our children have grown and are no longer at home. We have time in the day that is spent alone and we can steal those precious moments we so desire. Although I am very much in that situation; I still find myself putting myself at the bottom of the list. Which we all know means, that many times it is the one item that there just was not enough time for in the day. I will be honest and say that I do manage to have so much more “me” time than before and I do sympathize with mothers of young children at home. I know if I still here in that situation I would give my prime time to them. It is a woman’s nature to do such a thing.

In the long run though to give a little of the nurturing, that woman do so well, to oneself will benefit them greatly. It took me a while before I understood that statement. Yet when I realized that it was impossible to give anyone or anything my best if I was not giving my best to myself first, my life changed. As you can see I still regress back at times, yet like I have said before that is a woman’s way, we love to tend to others.

I guess what I am saying is I am going to have a little me time. I am going to give a bit more to the things that I enjoy and want to excel in and also jump off a few cliffs. I mean that figuratively of course. Take a few moments (or longer if you can ) this weekend and ponder on what it is you want out of yourself and then ask yourself what are you doing to achieve it. Eat a little chocolate while you think about it... Why? Because any woman knows that a little piece of chocolate can make any woman feel better. Blessings

The Restless Soul

Goodness what a winter this has been.  Colder than normal tempertures, snow out the whazoo....and all the issues that come along with such things.  I know that it is a time of quiet reflection of oneself and all that is around them.  A time to ponder on the things that have occurred in past and what may occur in times ahead.  Many it seems have drawn back into themselves in this time sorting out the things that weigh on their mind.  A bit of a quiet lull has fallen over blog land.  It is not surprising in that the last few months were so full of activity that at times I thought it was too much. One would think I would relish the quiet solitude that seems to be the norm the last week or two. 

Yet as I have greeted the greatly missed sunshine the last few days and the feel of a warm breeze I could not help but get a bit of an urging deep inside of me.  Maybe it is the stirring before spring, although that may just be an excuse because I long so for its arrival.  Yet I can feel the restlessness inside of me.  I long for more time outdoors.  To feel the sun on me, to hear the songs of the birds as they play with one another.  I long to piddle in my garden, clearing the fall and winter debri and making way for the new arrival of the flowers that will bloom soon.  My visions of my secret fairy space are eager to emerge into reality. 

As the the New Moon settles in today I understand more what I am feeling.  The corner was turned as Yule and we began our journey back towards the sun.  Slowly we have been making our way.  Imbolc lies as our next destination.  A time when we  begin to see the signs emerge more vividly thus also the strengthening of the feeling that comes with such progress.  Just as the soft flowers of winter begin to emerge, as the slow warming melts the coldness of winter from us, so also we feel the warmth come back into ourselves. 

The winter is still with us and will be for some time.  Coldness still could come and once again wrap us in its icy cloak.  Yet the wheel still turns and we know it is but a matter of time before the days become longer, the birthing of the spring animals will begin, and  the first signs of life will emerge once more to cover the earth.  The restlessness I feel is many things from the new moon, to the fact that Mercury is no longer in retrograde.  Yet the strongest pull I sense is that of an eagerness to bloom.  I know that it is not time yet.  The seed was planted as it should be and must run its coarse yet still I want it to shoot from the ground which is my being and become what it is meant to be.  I have always been a bit of an impatient one, especially when it is something that excites me.... And I know better than to ask for patience as I will most likely be taught it.  Something which is usually not a necessary plesant thing.

So I wait... quietly and yes patiently.  I wait as each day grows by a minute or two.  As  the sun comes to greet us just a tad earlier and leaves just a tad later each day.  As the earth thaws from the hold of winter's grasp and once again becomes soft and ready for life.  As I myself slowly sprout... all in good time I tell myself... all in good time