Life Goes On….

The last two weeks of life in our household has been anything but normal routine.  It is odd when life brings your events that take you away from the “normal routine” and you find yourself just staying afloat amidst all the change and chaos.  As things slowly revert to some form of normalcy you look at the time passed and are amazed at the time that has gone.  Finally our lives are somewhat normal.  Vincent is slowly improving.  Now we have the multitude of doctor visits and additional tests that need to be ran to verify or clarify what has occurred.  It is a bit easier to deal with than the darkness of a black  hole that you find yourself in at the beginning. 

 

Yet even though our world was turned upside down in a matter of seconds, life itself continued to go on.  Bills still needed paid… appointments that were made needed to be kept, rescheduled or cancelled completely… the house although not lived in for a few days still managed to become cluttered and needed tidied…. laundry began to pile… You know the drill…  Yet in the midst of this all a moment occurred that could not help but make me smile. 

 

A while back I spoke of how I was reopening my Esty shop, determined to become creative and once again attempt to peddle my wares.  Really before the only wares I had were my willow runes, yet they were something I was quite proud of.  Each set was created and became like a baby to me.  Well last week I sold my first set of willow runes from my Esty shop.  Yes it did come at a time when time was not necessarily something that I had tons of.  Yet still the event was a joyous event to me.  I will send them out tomorrow.  They are to be a gift for a husband’s birthday. 

 

As I worked with them and prepared them for their journey to their new owner, I realized that life is forever turning.  It does not stop when we have a moment that may seem to hard or too much.  It keeps moving on.  Much like we must try to do in the midst of such moments.  This event has shown Vincent and I much and truly I see it as a blessing.  It could have been so much worse than it was.  It was just enough to get our attention and let us know the things that needed to be done to advert a further possibly more severe event.  It reminded us of the precious time we have with each other and those around us.  Although I do not like to learn lessons or be reminded in such a manner, I am thankful that the message was given. It has shown me so many things this last two weeks and many of them are truly blessings. 

 

To those of you who have sent blessings and well wishes our way, thank you.  I have felt the healing energies and they have been so welcomed and appreciated.  I hope that I am able to return the gift.  Blessings

My Valentine….

Love is a funny thing,

When it is true nothing can take it from you. 

 Regardless of frustration, or change,

Love is the one thing that always remains. 

Those Who Do Not Dance

A crippled child

Said, "How shall I dance?"

Let your heart dance

We said.

Then the invalid said:

"How shall I sing?"

Let your heart sing

We said

Then spoke the poor dead thistle,

"But I, how shall I dance?"

Let your heart fly to the wind

We said.

Then God spoke from above

"How shall I descend from the blue?"

Come dance for us here in the light

We said.

All the valley is dancing

Together under the sun,

And the heart of him who joins us not

Is turned to dust, to dust.

Gabriela Mistral

It has been ten days since Vincent had his stroke.  Progress is slow but it is evident.  I know the power of a positive outlook.  I found this poem and it spoke to me somehow.  It reminds me that nothing is set in stone and that anything is possible.  Also we can never be sure what unexpected sources may bring us the very moment that will bring us the influences and experiences we require. 

Blessing to all who have been so generous with your prayers and thoughts.  I truly can feel the energy.  I know that many are praying for us at this time and it has taught me that God comes in so many forms, for I feel the healing warmth from each of you. 

In the Blink of An Eye

Last Saturday was much like any day for me.  I met a good friend I had not seen for some time for lunch and had a nice visit.  Afterwards I went home to work on a baby quilt I am doing and fix supper for Vincent when he arrived home later that day. Lasagna was the food of choice.  We had a quiet dinner enjoying each others company.  He excused himself and promised to return shortly. 

 

When he did arrive back he was complaining of being a bit dizzy and seeing double.  He works long hours and so I thought he was just tired.  He sat next to me and laid his head back.  It did not take long before he was asleep.  I missed his company but I let him sleep.  When I got up to go to bed I attempted to wake him to join me.  He would not respond.  I soon realized that he was not going to wake.  I quickly called 911 who arrived shortly afterwards.  They too were unable to rouse him.  After vitals were taken and such they decided to transport him to the hospital. 

 

To make a long story short, Vincent suffered a mild stroke.  We have spent the last four and a half days in the hospital, running multiple blood tests along with MRIs, MRAs, CTs and countless other anagrams.  He was discharged yesterday to come home.  Luckily he only had a small blockage that seems to have released itself.  He is on the usual medicine to help to prevent further episodes .  His vision is a bit messed up but we have an appointment with a nuero optometrist who should be able to help that. 

 

It is amazing how your life can change in the blink of an eye.  I find myself with all sorts of questions swimming around in my head.  I want so to talk my frustrations and worries over with my best friend yet I am unable to.  He is not who he used to be, at least not for now.  Plus the added drama and worry is not something he needs to feel he has to handle.  Keep us in your thoughts.  I am not sure what this journey has in store for us but I know that we will see it through…My giveaway is still a go, just understand if I am not as punctual as before.  Much love and hold precious those cherished moments.

Wanderlust Wednesday - Happy Birthday Baby

One day when I was a little girl of 7 years I saw a boy. He was older than me by three years. I remember when I first saw him I was taken by his beautiful blond hair. It was that color of blond that is almost white. He was tall and the summer sun shone on him often. I say this because of the gentle kiss it gave to his skin leaving its mark.

This boy who caught my fancy soon became my brothers best friend so I was privedged to his presence at my house often. Although I am sure he never noticed, I watched him from afar. There was something about this boy. I knew from a very young age that this was the boy that I wanted to spend my life with.

His smile was gentle and his eyes seemed to sparkle each time he looked at me. His words were always kind to me despite my brothers attempts to drive me away. He would call me Janie Pie each time he saw me and although I knew it was only his kindness I loved the attention he would give to me.

Yet children grow up. Being the little sister did not give me much of an opportunity to ever act upon my crush/love for this boy. The fact that I was extremely timid when I was young also did not help much.

I was 18 when I accepted the facts.  That the chance of my childhood wish of being with the boy of my dreams was just that a dream. As reality came to me I remember watching him in my brothers back yard. As I left I still remember the sadness I felt even then at this realization.

Yet sometimes a mere child knows exactly what she wants and it is the older adolescent that gives up to easily. Later, much later, in life this tall blond hair boy (now a man) would come back into my life. And although we were apart for almost 25 years the moment we connected again was magic. Instantaneously both of us knew and we have not been apart since. It is a journey that although I wish I could have started back when I was young, I am still blessed and grateful that we both found our way back to one another.

Today my Vincent celebrates his birthday. I wish him happiness and all he wants and more. Happy Birthday baby.

I know this is a week late but it still hold just as much love, in fact a little more.  Because each day my heart grows just a bit fonder of you, so today I can honestly say I love you more than I did last week.  Yea I know it's sappy but so true...

New Beginnings

It has been somewhat of a hectic time for me as of late. It seems that so many things have been going on. I am not sure if it is that I am getting older and keeping up with such things is just becoming a bit harder or that I have just really been busy. I like to think it is the second reason. I am hoping that the time to come will bring somewhat of a slower pace for me although I am not sure that that will happen. The holidays always seem to be a somewhat hectic time regardless.

Yet November is here and with it comes the beginning of a new year. (At least for those who follow the Celtic calendar). I have so enjoyed this last year and all the things it has brought my way. It never ceases to amaze me the countless blessings that are constantly occurring if you only take the time to look for them.

Once again I find myself looking at areas of my life that I want to focus on and possibly make changes to or give more time and attention to. Usually I am not too keen on resolutions. Not sure if that is an excuse or a good reason. There are some areas that I feel drawn to work on, although I feel that it may be the fact that my 49th birthday falls this month. I see the days following November 19th to be quite special. They each are a piece of the road that makes up my 50th year of life. Granted I am not too keen on getting older yet the milestone of my 50th birthday is somewhat special. It also pushes me to think on where I have been and where else I would like to go in my life.

Vincent and I celebrated our anniversary last weekend and with it we were told the news that his daughter and her husband are expecting. So a new grandchild will bless our midst next summer. It is always a joy to hear the news of a child to come. It is even more enjoyable when the child is to be part of your family. It will be a while before we know whether it is a boy or a girl yet that does not take anything from the excitement.

I have also been blessed to have won a couple recent giveaways which I am overjoyed about. First was second place in Byrum Art’s giveaway. I love their work and so when I received an email from Sherry telling me I could hardly believe it. The next prize took me totally by surprise. It was the wonderful Salem gift basket from Jaz over at October Farm in Mrs. B’s last giveaway of her 31 days of Halloween event. Her baskets are always so wonderful and her trips to Salem each year are amazing. It is always fun to get goodies in the mail.

The weather has cooled considerably. In fact it is coat weather her with a brisk cool breeze blowing all week. I have work to be done in my yard yet am not sure if I will be able to get it done this week. Time will tell I guess. I am slowly getting back to all the things that need tending. Life calls as it does most of us from time to time and we have to give in and give it the time and attention that it demands. Hoping this Tuesday finds those who visit well and in good spirits.

Blessings

Eat Pray and Love - Something to Ponder

I will be honest and say that I am not one that reads as much as I probably should. Although my taste for the written word has grown in my later years, I always seems to fall asleep (or want to) if I try and curl up with a good book. There has been a few that once I opened the cover I was unable to put it down and carried with me everywhere until I finally finished the last word. I love a book that grabs me in such a way.

A book that is a good example of this was “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. I loved this book from the moment I picked it up. It was probably because I could relate to it in so many ways… I understood the frustration she had in the beginning of the book when she struggled with the possibility and eventual divorce from her husband. Her desire to travel to “find herself” also appealed to me.

Not only did she decide she would travel, she traveled to three of my favorite places as well as made it her quest to explore three areas of her life that she felt strongly about; food, her spiritual side, and love. I know that they have made the book into a movie which has recently come out. I have mixed feelings as to whether I wish to go and see it or not. One reason is because movies never seem to truly do a book justice and end up leaving you disappointed. I think this is mainly because when one reads a book they bring with them their own imagination. This in turn creates a fantasy land in one’s head of what they envision the story to look like, smell like and taste like. It is impossible for any movie to fit this interpretation of so many that would go and see it, therefore there will always be those who are not satisfied with the manner it was told in.

I loved the whole concept of “Eat Pray Love”. It got me to thinking about what I would consider my eat, pray, and love . Then as if we were on the same wavelength, I was clicking channels and landed on Oprah. She had Julia Roberts and Elizabeth Gilbert on her show and they were discussing the movie and were talking about that very thing. I guess great minds do think alike. Ha!!

What is my Eat… what is my Pray… and what is my love…. I would have to say that finding what my “Eat” is could be quite difficult. I have always been one who loves to eat. The main reason it thrills me so (and believe me it can thrill me) is that I love the intense flavors that one can find. I will try anything at least one time because I have learned that you never judge anything simply by its looks. (Especially food) Yet to choose a favorite in the vast selection is close to impossible. Last night it was the pepper crusted rare Ahi Tuna I had….. It was heavenly… yet a few days ago it was the homemade vanilla sugar that I simply ate by dipping my finger into the jar over and over. I am not sure where I would go to explore this side of me as I have found wonderful food in so many places… Yet I guess Italy would not be a bad place to start… Rich tasty homemade mamma food in so many places…. Beautiful country side and extremely good looking men… How could one go wrong with all that to choose from?

My Pray is an easy one…. It would have to be the peaceful serenity of nature. I find such tranquility in my yard and communing with everything that is not manmade. The simple sounds, smells and sights are more precious than anything that can be bought or made. When I feel myself overwhelmed in any sense of the word and I know that I need some time to relax and escape to my sanctuary, I head for the loving arms of Mother Nature. She is always there with her gentle ways no matter the season, no matter the time. In the quiet stillness of morning before all else awakens she stirs. In the heat of a noon day when the sun is high and the day is in full swing. In the slowing down of the afternoon and early eve when it seems that she begins to gather things in for the day. And lastly, during the night, when the stars and moon illuminate the world and a different side of her is shown. She never ceases to amaze me with her ability to bring me to that place where I need to be. To see that answer that I may be trying so hard to find and don’t until I stop and sit with her in silence for a while. My sanctuary, my church, my pray…. Is definitely, communing with the earth and sky.

My love… another easy answer. I love my Vincent and quite honestly he is probably the love of my life. Of course he can drive me nuts, yet over time I have learned that seldom can two be together nonstop 24/7 and not. Yet he accepts me for me and does not in any way attempt to change me. That is what I love most. No matter how silly, corny, or far out there I may be, he listens and makes me feel as if I am as sane as him; which may not necessarily be that sane. Also my grandkids, they likewise take me for who and what I am and love me all the more. They share with me their wide open minds and we ponder the mysteries of the universe together at times… They help me to keep the fact fresh in my mind that there is always something new in the world and that to notice the little things is what keeps us young. My children also have brought much love into my life. From the time they themselves were wee ones until now when they have grown and moved on with their own lives and values. There have been struggles and I am sure there will be more yet we have slowly learned to be accepting and understand that besides being family we are also people. They have taught me to listen more, and also that I do not always have to be the momma… Sometimes I am just another person across the table.

So in closing I ask you, what is your Eat Pray and Love. Something to think about and quite honestly it can really brings some sides of you out that you may not have thought of before. If you have not read the book “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert and especially if you are female I urge you to do so.

I think if the book had not been such a favorite of mine I would not be so indifferent about seeing it, yet here I am. So when it all comes down to it I more than likely will not go and see the movie. Yet who knows… never say never.

A Matter Of Mind......

Sometimes I believe that I am a young woman forever trapped in an aging body. Yet then again there are probably many who feel that way. Although there are times in my life when I have to stop and remind myself that I am 48 years old… Something that usually at the time when I do, it is the last thing on earth I really want to do. As every other part of my being is having the time of my life. I truly am not sure if I will ever get past that part of me…. No matter how old I become chronologically.

Yesterday my day started out somewhat as a downer. It looked as if we were not going to be able to go to the Muse concert as Vincent was not sure if he would make it home in time to drive down to Dallas in time. I had accepted the fact that it more than likely would not happen and as I ran my errands I turned my Muse music up to ease my disappointment. I have to say it did not help. It only made me want to see them more, yet really that did not surprise me. I was at the end of my errands and heading home when Vincent called and said he also was on his way home and we would be heading out as soon as he arrived. I was ecstatic

The concert was phenomenal. I did not think they could get any better after seeing them 7 times prior yet I was mistaken. They definitely have. They have always been a band that is fantastic live and this time was no different. Their light show, their stage format, everything was great. I managed to get a few photos yet my batteries died on me in my camera as I forgot to charge it before… Yet I have plenty of pictures and video from prior times. If you have not noticed I am somewhat of an overzealous Muse fan. Their music lit a fire in me some years back that is hard for me to explain. In some ways they really have been my Muse.

Yet I have to give kudos to where kudos are due. Although I love my boys in the band and yes Matthew Bellamy makes me wish I was ten years younger, my heart belonged to Vincent last night. He drove two hours to work yesterday morning (at 5 am) then two hours home. We then drove to Dallas and back…A three hour trip both ways. We arrived home about 1am in the morning. He was up again this morning at 5:30 am to yet again go to work. That is love guys… I do not know what I did to deserve this man, yet I am so glad that I have him. Those little silly things that are somewhat goofy to ask for yet they mean so much… He always seems to give them to me…

I think the thing that I love most about him is that he always allows me to be myself. No matter how silly that may be. Last night we both rocked out as only two old people could… Singing and dancing to every song Muse played. Looking forward with fingers crossed to the announcement of the lineup for Lollapalooza this year and hoping that once again Muse will headline and we can spend the day front and center like we did a couple years ago. Not even the rain could make us leave that day. Yea… we are a couple of old farts, at least some of the young ones that we meet at times think so. Yet we can rock out with the best of them and a bet better than many.

Like I said, I am not sure if I will ever really “act my age”. To me, any time I do so I feel so out of place. It is not a natural thing…Plus I am having too much fun not doing it. Like they say: Age is a matter of mind…. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

And Away We Go

Tempertures are warming up around here... It was a warm 54 yesterday and they are even predicting 60s for Sunday.  With the cabin fever that was experienced the last few weeks with all the freezing temperatures and snow, that could only mean one thing.... Taking the Harley out.  I have to admit that Vincent is a bit more weatherized then I.  He does not mind a good brisk ride in 40 degree weather.  You may say that would not be too bad, yet when you figure in the windchill it can be down right cold.  And seeing that I am not an Alaskan snow bunny I do not like that much... However, 60 degree weather is not too bad if you are dressed warm, especially if the wind is light which it is suppose to be on Sunday.

I am and always will be the "bitch" on the back.  Have no desire to have a bike of my own.  I enjoy plugging my earphones in and turning my ipod to some good music and just enjoying myself.  The feel of the wind, the smells of nature, it is all a wonderful experience to me.  Hard to explain really but if you ride (front or back) you know exactly what I am talking about. 

What Makes Me Happy - You Really Think You Are Ready For This?

Faerwillow over at Serendipity was a dear and gave me this award.  Her blog is always uplifting and full of wonderful things.  With receipt of this award I am to offer up to my readers 10 things that make me really happy.  Have to say there are probably much more than 10 things, yet at the moment this seems to be the things that are on my mind the most..  And Away We Go............

The first thing that comes to my mind when you speak of happiness has got to be my grandbabies.  They are such a big part of my life as well as such a wealth of smiles, love, and laughter.  I still have not figured out the complete secret of being a grandparent yet I know that there is something incredibly special about it.  It give a feeling inside of you that is unique all to its own.  Plus I just love the simple ways of a child.  They are so open to the world and accepting without question.  They have yet to be mucked up by all the sinicism of the world.  It is refreshing and delightful to experience their bare truth of reality.

The second thing that makes me happy is my Vinnie.  Funny how I have truly been in love with this man since I was 7 years old.  I just wish I had had my pushy ways back when I was younger.  Maybe I would not had to have waited until I was 42 to have married him.  He has brought me more love in the last 5 and half years of being together than I think I have had in all the years before.  He truly is my soulmate and best friend.  My very own Captain Morgan... what else could a girl ask for. 

Music runs a close number three with of course Matthew Bellamy of Muse being at the forefront of that.  I mean really girls the boy believes in fairies.  Music has always been an important attribute to my life.  It inspires, lifts my spirits, makes me cry, and makes me want to dance like a crazed loon.  Yes, I can get down with my bad self, believe it or not.  I think I will have the same feelings as well as the same closet groupie fetishes til the day I die.  From George Harrison of the Beatles to Mattie.... I will "forever" love the boys in the band. 

Friends and family come in next.  Goodness where would we be without this one.  Over the last year I have realized the important of both of these groups.  Whether they are right next door to you or clear across the pond, they still mean as much to you and can have just as much influence and impact on your life.  A true friend is hard to find and sometimes impossible.  I feel that as of late I have been blessed with several.  And that can do nothing but make me happy.

Cooking is another thing that makes me happy.  Let me feed someone and that is my way of telling them I care.  Not sure why I am like that, I think I get it from my mother.  Although since she learned I can cook she doesn't cook for me as much.  Just ask my kids they will tell you that I love nothing more than to shove food down ones throat.  A little melodramatic there... although my daughter swears I fed them too much as kids... Always having cookies and cakes baked.  What can I say... it is one of my many ways of saying I love you.

Full moons and fairies.  Yea I know this is two things yet to me I tie them together often.  I have always loved to gaze at a full round moon as it rises in the sky at night.  To feel its energies pulsating from it.  I have forever been a moonchild and feel extremely close to her.  As for the fairies, the wee folk have always been dear to me.  It saddens me that people truly do not believe in them anymore yet I can understand why.  They represent something that is unseen to most and therefore can be unproven.  Ah to be caught in a world where you can not believe what you can not see.    Something that definitely does not make me smile....

Nature and all her glory of course makes me smile and tremendously happy.  From the strength and wisdom of a tall aged oak to the soft touch of a gentle breeze.  There are so many facets of this area that truly touch my soul.  I have learned so much from the out of doors.  It is what is truly real.  It holds so many secrets for us if we only but listen to her.  Its stories are ageless and offer to us the answers to so many of the questions we often ponder. 

My garden makes me happy.  Over the last several years I have planted and nurtured several flowers, trees, etc.  It is now coming to the stage where it is starting to shine.  It has been a wonderful experience for me to learn.  Although the feel of the earth under my feet or the touch of fresh soil excites me in a way that only another gardener can understand.  The excitement of that little green sprout peeking out of the ground or the first bud on a rose bush makes me beam... I thank my grandma and grandpa for this love of the earth as well as Thelma Pate, a woman who taught me the love of a beautiful flower at a very young age. 

My camera and my love of photography makes me smile.  It goes with me everywhere and has brought me a form of satisfaction I had not experienced before.  It has taught me creativity, uniqueness and the means to accept myself as an artist. 

Lastly what makes me Happy?  Me Myself and I.  I have learned to love myself and who and what I am.  I can laugh at my shortcomings and not be too hard on myself... I love life and all that it has to offer.  I guess in a way Life makes me happy.  Sure it has its pitfalls and such but there truly is always something positive to be gained from everything.  No matter how cliche that sounds.  I have learned to lean towards the positive side of all things and in the end all will be better for it.  Not to dwell on the negative or the trivial as it will only bog you down and keep you from enjoying the goodness that surrounds you.  Now I have to send this on to 10 more people.  First let me say that I am not necessarily a lover of question and answer things such as this yet this one has been a bit of a blessing to me.  It made me focus on a bunch of positive  things and also made me realize that there is much more than just 10 things... In saying this I pass this on to 10 people whom have inspired me with their stories, their teachings and their lives.  People whom have made me happy .  I hope you have as much fun doing this as I have had;  PS:  Lyon, Rue and Mary:  I would send this to you yet see you already had it sent to you.... All three of you have made me smile several times as well as lift my spirits and taught me much... blessing to you. 

So in no specific order:

Tracy from Witch Path to Take

Bridgett from Doug and; Boo Plus 2

Iris from Iris Awakened

Sugar and Spice from Sweet and Sour Witches

Nan from Ole Crows Nest

Dede from Brightest Blessings

Birgit from Swapping Howdies

Bella from Memoirs of A Crazy Witch

Linda from Old Baggs n Stuffed Shirts

Lucy from Secrets for Happyness

Love all of you and Faerwillow, thank you so much for sending this my way.... Blessings to all of you.