As The Wheel Turns

Balance, according to Webster is mental and emotional steadiness. Although I do not feel that I have gone off the deep end, I do not feel like I have been very balanced as of late.

After my birthday last year, I had grand plans of all the things I wanted to accomplish and the manner in which I would do just that. Of course there is still a few more months left for me to chip away at the list I created, yet the lack of enthusiasm I have had as of late has not helped matters much. As many of us know when we plan to do something so many times something always seems to come up and "change" things.

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry"

Robert Burns

 So with that being said I guess I am in good company and should not be too hard on myself. Most definitely this year has turned out to be much different than I had expected it to be. Not necessarily in a bad way just in a different manner. It has taught me lessons and helped me to lose a little of my controlling nature. Something that I guess I needed to work on a bit. A good life lesson is always welcomed, although the tough ones sometimes make me whine a bit. Yet as I look around there has been difference in many areas of life. From the weather to politics there are times when I want to just throw up my hands and say what in the world is going on. Yet the wheel continues to turn as it always does and will. Change is something that will always be among us no matter how much we may cuss it or wish it away

Change is inevitable, growth is intentional

Glenda Cloud

Change is what makes us who we are. How it comes and how we choose to deal with it is what is most important. Do we react or do we respond? Reaction is sudden and often from our emotions. Such times are usually the ones we wish we could go back and change given the chance. The sudden release of intense emotions often feels good initially yet later we see the folly in our actions. Responding is often done over a longer period of time. We consider all that is involved and although we may not make the best decision the one that is eventually made is often a much clearer one.

I know from experience that reacting is usually not the best thing to do. Sitting back and thinking over all the options and all the feelings involved will bring one to a much better conclusion. Thus with this recent change I sit back and try not to over think the situation. I look at the opportunities that have come my way in place of those I had planned on and see that there were other things that needed to be tended to first. I also am able to see the additional blessings that have come my way on this different road. So many times when things do not go our way we jump to all the bad things about the situation and forget to look for the good that may have come from it. I have learned there is always some good in bad things. It may be hard to see let alone accept, yet it is there.

July is almost over and soon the Autumn will come. The circle will have taken its course and all that was to happen will have come to pass. We may not think that it was as it should be yet in its own way it will have been just as it should have been.

Blessings to you and yours

Mother Moon

Sometimes... We Need Only Listen to Ourselves

Faith is an oasis in the heart

Which can never be reached by the caravan of thinking.

“Kahil Gibran”

When I read the quote above, I can only laugh. It is so true. It is not the endless thinking and dissecting of something that brings its message to us in a manner that allows it to illuminate our being and give us the feeling inside that we know it is right. It is that stir inside our heart, inside our soul, that tells us that this is the right road to be on and that this is the beginning of the journey that we truly want to travel. Another word for faith is intuition. Intuition is a gift that is all too often overlooked. Overlooked because many times it tells us things which are contrary to what we have had engrained into our minds to believe. We have that small quiet voice inside of us that urges us to take a turn, to choose something or believe something that is not quite in line with what we claim ourselves to represent. Yet we often ignore it because of what would others think? How would such a decision effect how I am perceived by those who look at me each day? Would it make them treat me any differently? Would it label me in a manner that could possibly separate me from others? Do I really want to stand up for this considering how it may eventually affect me?

Many times such decisions could very well do just that. And of course we would rather make sure that all those who look at us…. Let me rephrase that…. All those whom we think look at us feel comfortable. We would not want to upset their delicate life’s journey by changing our impact on it. Therefore we remain as we are. Even when we feel that it is not necessarily right. We can endure the indifference we may feel. We can endure the uncomfortable feelings of not choosing as our intuition leads us. All so that someone who more than likely could care less in regards to our final decision, will not have their life bothered. Of course there are times when those closest to you may balk at any attempt you may make to change. This is because a change will disrupt their environment and cause them to adjust. It is not necessarily because they care that they balk. It is not like they are certain that such a choice on your behalf is not a good one. It is more likely because it creates an uncomfortable feeling for them. Things are not flowing as before. They may be required to readjust themselves as well to accept the “new” you. This would mean change, goodness no.

Still when one is blessed with the gift of intuition we should heed its message. It is given for a good reason. So often we look at life as simple black and white. What we choose to do or not do is often if not always based on what we see, hear, smell, etc. It is based on that which we can describe and show some form of reasoning for. Yet when we allow intuition to play a role in such a decision we are basing our final outcome on a something that cannot quite be described. It is a sense within us that this is the right answer even if every other sense is telling us the opposite. It is what some call a gut feeling. It cannot be described in a manner that is acceptable to most because of the lack of facts that back it up. It can only be described as a feeling and because it is your feeling it is difficult to convey that exact feeling to another in a manner that they too would experience the same thing.

Intuition is given to us as a sense unto itself, although it is often not looked at in this manner. A good example of this is the example of a small child. A child has such a trusting nature. They have the ability to look at a situation and see it for what it truly is. Their eyes have not yet been clouded by the rules and regulations that are often given to everyone eventually. You know what I am speaking of; the rules that slowly form us into “what we are supposed to be”. Children, especially young ones, have not allowed these rules to penetrate them yet. Therefore they see with open eyes… Their intuition is vivid and strong. It is not only felt and viewed as true; it is also seen and heard. It is still a true sense. There is no question as to its validity as it is proven by all that is around.

It is time that we allow ourselves to trust that which has been lacking from our senses for so long. It is time that we open our minds to the messages that come to us daily telling us what is true and what is right. It is time we trust that small quiet voice inside. It is there for a reason. It is there to help guide us where we need to go. I am in no means saying that we should disregard the words of counsel that we receive from friend, family, and others. It is just that we should likewise take into account our own words that lie within ourselves. Sometimes the answer to the questions we seek so diligently is already answered and sitting right inside of us.

An Open Mind

I have always been one who ponders… Some call it a thinker. You know the one who takes something and examines it relentlessly attempting to figure its mechanisms out so that they can understand how exactly it all works. With something that is solid and can be held in one’s hands this is not necessarily a bad thing. Yet when applied to a simple thought or act it can become a quite enormous feat. Some things are just as simple as they may appear. They need no elaborate thought process to bring them into light for us to see their clarity.

 

We have what we seek…

It is there all the time, and if we give it time…

It will make itself known to us

“Thomas Merton”

Still I will think on it…attempting to look at it from all sides and perspectives. As time has passed in my life this process has brought me much insight on certain issues… especially when it comes to seeing it from a perspective other than my own. It is hard sometimes to do this. Most of us feel quite passionate about our views and feel that we have examined it to the point that we know enough of the facts to make our final decision. Yet I have learned there are often other sides, other views, which I have at times not taken into consideration. This simple realization has taken me leaps and bounds ahead of where I began within my journey in life. It has also helped me to understand others as well as myself more. Most people are quite willing to discuss their ideas and views if they do not feel that they are being threatened when doing so. Given the right approach two people with quite different views on a said subject can comfortably sit and discuss it and in the end both come out with new insight.

The way is not in the sky,

The way is in the heart.

“Buddha”

There is so much wisdom out in the world…wisdom which comes from so many walks of life. It is sad to think that there are so many who will never gain from such wisdom because they have chosen to keep a closed mind in regards to certain individuals based simply on their beliefs, race, and/or culture. What is it that keeps one from listening? Could it possibly be a feeling that in doing so they may forfeit some of themselves and lose credibility? Maybe it is the loss of power they feel they will lose if they give any of their ground away. Power plays such a large part in so many struggles. Even when one feels that they are not right and they know that the opposing side holds good points and is in the end the better choice, they will fight for what they represent simply because they do not wish to lose. Why is it that we “enjoy” telling others what is right and what is wrong. Why do we feel such power in being the one who has the last say? Quite possibly because deep down all of us want to have some form of importance to ourselves. We want to feel as if our participation is needed and at times even non-replaceable. Truth is though that any of us can be replaced at any time. True there are some who have such talents that replacement could be a bit of a challenge yet in the end the job can be filled if needed.

It is an individual decision that each one has to make. The decision as to how open we will be to the things around us. Will we open our minds and allow thoughts that are different than our own to be heard? Will we consider the affects that such thoughts could bring? Will we even go as far as to consider the negativity that our own thoughts could bring? Taking it even a step further and changing our thought process if needed, despite the fact that it could shun us from some of those around us. Will we give up the control so that the right thing can eventually be accomplished?

Hopefully so… Hopefully as time continues a new awakening will emerge and the desire to have “my way” or no way will subside. We will finally see the need to work together for the common good as opposed to each struggling to get our own way at whatever the cost may be. Maybe it is just my overly optimistic outlook that helps me to feel that it will eventually be a reality. Yet I hope it is a glimpse at the evolution of man to come. For it is truly in all of us to be such creatures….If we choose to be.

Finally...

The newness of spring has been approaching for what seems months. Quite possibly it seems so because I have craved it so to come. The winter’s coldness and excess of precipitation kept me inside more than usual. This seemed to give a sense of cabin fever that hung around almost as if a chronic ailment. Glimpses of warmth would come yet be swept back away by the cold north wind.

It seems though that finally spring is upon us. The days have lengthened and with this weekend’s turning the clocks back one hour due to daylights saving time, they will seem to be even longer. The sun will stay up until almost 8 pm. The tulips, daffodils, and lilies will soon be blossoming throughout the yard. Bradford pear trees along with the dogwood and cherry blossoms will also show their beautiful color. It is a time when nature seems to come alive all around us. The constant chatter of birds seems to echo throughout as they tempt each other in the mating dance. The new calves and little lambs can be found dancing throughout the fields. It is a time of rebirth… A time of new beginnings.

I find myself with a yearning to create. Not sure exactly what to create, yet still it is there. I have ample time on my hands so that is not an issue. The yard of course will take much tending as the days warm. Clean up and new planting will begin soon. Yet that will only take so much of my time. There are other things in store for me I feel. I just need to seek them out.

A new grandbaby is also on its way and should be with us within the coming month. This only adds to the excitement of all the newness. It will be a bit different as this one will be some distance from me, unlike the ones before. Yet there is always the opportunity to travel and visit. There is nothing like holding a sleeping baby to make one feel all warm and gooey inside.

All in all the coming weeks seem to hold much not only for me yet for many of you as well. I have read so many words of those who are seeking within themselves and are currently in a transformation process. It is always exciting to evolve. Although change is hard and not always a fun thing it usually brings forth new life and an energy that we did not have before. Many have taken time from blogland to reflect more on themselves and this event. Something I myself have considered.

As time continues to pass and things continue to change and flow through its constant process, I hope that each of you find the secrets and answers you seek… That moments of pleasure are realized and the time to enjoy them is there… That the wonder and newness of spring is shown in all its glory… And lastly, that the tiny miracles that are overlooked too often are made more apparent. Blessings

A Bit of A Detour

Well it is Thursday and the week is just about over.. Seems to have flown by and I do not feel that I have acheived all the things I was wanting to. Yet I have learned to not fret too much about such things as what can you really do about it.  I know that the main reason I do not feel as productive is that I have taken on a few other things and don't realize that I have my finger in more pots than I care to admit.  Yet I like it that way and know that I will stir even more as the weather warms. 

Today I am meeting with my sons fiance to help with planning their wedding in October.  I do not exactly know how much time this will end up taking from me yet it is something that I want very much to be a part of.  With that said I have decided to point you into the direction of another blog which I am a part of Ewitch.  Today I posted my "coming out" story which really I have never thought of it that way.  I think of it more like an evolution.  I was always that child that constantly wondered and often asked "Why?". 

So I invite you to share in The Spiritual Evolution of Me.  Enjoy

The Quickening - Part Two

The stirring that is felt in a mother's womb when she first feels the infant move is referred to as the quickening.  That soft flutter as if butterflies are inside your stomach.  Sometimes you wonder if you even truly felt anything yet soon you trust its validity. I remember the first time I felt my first child.  I was sitting in a college library, researching a paper .  There were people all around me.  Life was continuing as it always does, and then I felt it.  It was the slightest movement and even at that time I remember wondering how I could have noticed.  Yet it seemed immediately that all else stopped and I was only concerned with that ever so slight touch of life.    A magical moment that only a mother can relate to.  The magick of life inside of you.  A true blessing. 

Often at this time of year, we hear again this word, quickening.  I will be honest and say that before now when I heard the word the first thing that came to my mind was Andrian Paul from Highlander.  And what can I say, it is not that bad of an image to come to ones mind.  In this instance, the quickening refered to the transferance of energy that occurred when one immortal beheaded another immortal.  Yes I admit I was an avid watcher.  Yet enough of these lusty thoughts and back to what I meant to write about in the first place. 

 Now the word has taken on a much deeper meaning to me.  It brings to mind the birth of my 3 children and the time I carried them until their birth.  It brings to mind the planting of a seed into the soft furtile soil and watching it slowly poke its head out into the sunlight to grow upward.  It brings to mind the idea of the beginning of life.  This is a time when out of the darkness of winter,  life and light slowly emerges.  From the quietness of winters hibernation life comes forth.  A cycle that continues year after year. 

Yet then why does it seem so different this year.  Possibly it is because I have choosen to focus on my naturalist side more.  In doing this I can not help but notice the changes more.  Possibly it is because I have started this blog and on an almost daily basis I write in regards to that which seems to move me or touch me.  This definately keeps such things in  the forefront of my memory.  Possibly it is because there is just a keener sense of it now.  Many people have commented on my posts as well as written posts of their own describing the restlessness they are feeling deep inside of themselves.  They too have felt the quickening.  They too have felt the sense of urgency yet unsure exactly as to what the feeling relates specifically to.  Possibly something on a grander scale?  I guess it could be.  I have always felt that there are some that feel the vibrations of the earth more than others.  There are always subtle clues, yet because they are subtle sometimes they go unnoticed. 

So many times we allow the rat race we call life to consume us in a manner that blocks out the small voices that call us on a daily basis.  I understand that life does go on and there are needs that need to be met.  It is not as if we can just wander about with no responsibility.  Yet still there are times when we do allow ourselves to be covered with the "muck of life".  This in turn blocks our senses from so much that the "earth" has to offer us.  I am thankful for my quiet moments when I can be silent and allow nothing to come in yet hear everything.  I have learned the importance of making time for them and also the wealth they can bring.  It was a learning process I will admit, yet a lesson that was well learned. 

I guess there was a reason I woke at 4:30 today.  Finally instead of staying in bed as I do all other times, I choose to get up.  No matter what I did to try and return to the pleasure of sleep beneath my warm covers, it did not work. There was a reason.  There always is a reason... I will be honest and say that much of what is occurring for me these days is all new.  However I do not think I would really want it any other way.  It is always fun when on ones journey the scenery changes and there are new sites to see instead of the old usual ones.

As each of you continue on, as each of you experience your own quickening, I wish you good journey.  Take time to be silent and listen.  Take time to stop and enjoy the beauty that surrounds you.  Take time to be good to yourself.  Too often we do not remember ourselves until everyone else has been tended.  This is a daily process.  And in truth we all know that very seldom do we ever tend "everyone/everything in one day.  When the next day comes, we start at the top of the list again in our attempt to complete it.  All too often forgetting the person at the bottom - ourselves. 

Have a wonderful weekend.  For those of you to get snow (and a bunch it sounds like) stay warm and be safe... And one last thing.... Go Colts.....

The Path Ahead

It seems that as of late there has been much talk from many in blog land about the feeling of change in the air. From a sense of restlessness to the need to make major changes in the path some are traveling. It is natural for us to want to turn inward at this time of the year. It is natural for us to reflect inward and ask ourselves questions concerning the path we are traveling and possibly the detours that we may want or sometimes need to consider. Yet still the sense seems to be heavy this year. We feel the need to re-evaluate our stance in the bigger picture of it all.

I myself have felt this pull. I will say that it has been a new thing for me. Although Fall has always been a season that I truly love it has never been a time for retrospect or major change. Yet here it is and like so many others I too feel the pull that is so obvious in the air. Many have been talking in regards to their past and the struggles they endured and overcame; the key word being “overcame”. Others have spoken of the need they have felt to re-examine their belief structure and the path they may be following.

It seems that many are heavy with the sense of a coming change. We have attempted to quench this feeling with making subtle, sometimes major, changes in our own lives yet still the feeling is there. The world is a different place today. No one can argue that point. The simplicity that used to be an everyday occurrence is often hard to find, and many times nonexistent if one does not actually put it there themselves. The world is running at full speed trying to maintain as well as evolve continuously into bigger and better things. Is this really good? I cannot help but ask myself these questions. Often I sit and long for a more quiet time; when technology was not so prevalent in the world, when it did not control us as it does now.

The only constant I have is my beliefs and the solace they bring to me. The knowledge or should I say inner feeling that at the end of the day it still is all good, despite the deaths occurring each day due to war, crime, injustice, hatred, and so on. Despite the natural disasters that occur killing hundreds and sometimes thousands of people not to mention the ones who do survive yet lose everything. Despite the thousands of children who have to live in unspeakable conditions due to poverty and abuse. Whose young years are lived without someone to tuck them in each night and tell them they are loved. And the list could go on and on.

To look at the accumulation of all such things can easily be overwhelming to anyone. To ignore its presence is even worse. Yet what can one do? Still the world spins, and still it continues to “evolve”. There is a change coming, or at least a change needed. This is the weight that many of us feel. What is it that needs to happen to “set things right” again? Can it be set right? My feeling is that it will probably get worse before it gets better. As anytime you work to get a festering thorn out of an infected area, it is painful.

Grounding ourselves in what we believe, remembering that there are others who need us, and keeping our eyes and minds open to the occurrences around us (ie: not sticking our heads in the sand and ignoring the signs) are just a few of the things that can help. It is a wise man who listens and sees the signs that are around him, taking notice to that which he knows to be right and acting upon those enlightenments. It is a fool who sees them and does nothing, for his fate is chosen by no one but himself.