It seems that at of late I have ran across many blogs dealing with the issue of Christianity vs. Paganism. I have read and commented on most of these writings yet truly do feel inspired to write my own. Thus here goes. I know that this is an extremely sensitive subject to both sides as well as to those who feel somewhat stuck in the middle. I think I feel my empathy for the middle people the most as they are not truly accepted by either side entirely. Somewhat like being a mixed spiritual follower.... You are not considered Christian and you are not considered Pagan. I remember when I first decided to start Mother Moon. This is one of the issues that drove me to see its need. I grew up in Rural Oklahoma. One can not get anymore Bible belt than that. There was a Southern Baptist church on every corner. Ok I am embellishing the truth somewhat but you get what I mean. Alternative beliefs were something that were greatly shunned upon and anyone known to be dabbling in such things was immediately marked. No you didn't necessarily have a W plastered on your chest but being a small town the word got around... And the bad thing about the word getting around anywhere is that it never is the same two times in a row.
I did not grow up in what would be considered a "church home" yet it was the church where I received much of my early belief system. I will say this, that although I grew up in the church, I questioned it constantly. Especially when I realized that people were telling me one thing and they themselves were doing the opposite. At an early age (4 to be exact) I started to question everything that was told to me. I did not accept anything based simply on the fact that it was what my Sunday School teacher told me. I wanted to understand it for myself. I wanted to experience it for myself. I wanted to live it myself. I wanted it to be personal and mine.
Eventually due to this thought process and the fact that I had come to conclusions that were not in tune with their teachings I fell away from the "church" yet not necessarily away from God. I do not claim to know what is the truth and what is not. I do not think anyone can. I do know though that this world is too vast and intricate to not have a creator. Or at least that is my thought process.
My God has been with me since I can remember. I have received comfort, wisdom, solace, strength, and so much more from my God. I have been shown my God best through nature and all that surrounds me that is true and real. Not made from man's hands or even from his mind. Although I will say that there has been some grand inventions and words and music wrote that stir my soul to no end. I experience my God best when I am in nature. The trees speak to me as only they can. The wind cradles me and rocks me gently. Tears fall from the sky to cleanse me as well as to invigorate me. The sun shines on me and warms my soul. This is my God. The animals as they frolic in the woods, the flowers as they bloom and lend their fragrance to the day. The beauty of a clear clean night when the moon is full. Sometimes my God is a she; a mother who holds me in her arms and gently sings me to sleep. Sometimes my God is a man; who helps me to see the folly of my ways and lends wisdom to help be once again walk the right path.
I do not claim to know or completely understand your God or their God, her God, or his God. Yet I beleive that as real as my God is to me... yours is likewise to you. We all walk our own path in an attempt to take that journey that only we ourselves can truly take. No one is capable of doing it for us then telling us this is how it is. We must experience it on our own. I can not see why anyone would want one to do it for them and then miss out on the delight of the experience. I am not sure what to call myself... I only know that I am a believer..... And it is like I always say... Believing is half way there.