Friday, November 12, 2010

Truth #2 - To Love Thyself

To love oneself… Such a simple statement yet truly something that some find difficult if not impossible. Although with such an accomplishment comes great rewards. One usually does not realize the magnitude of this until it is finally achieved. Because when one learns to truly love themselves they are open to give to others all of what they truly possess. No matter how giving one may be they cannot give their full selves to anything or one until they can give it to themselves.

This week in the continuing journey of Truth posts, we fall onto
 #2: Something you love about yourself

If this question had been asked of me some time back I am not sure if I could have answered it with the openness and honesty that I do today. I think this is mainly because I had not reached that point of truly loving myself and also I had not realized other things as well. Although these days there are many things that I “love” about myself I think the one thing that makes me smile the most is the fact that I can now be still and enjoy the small blessings that come to one on a daily basis. The little things that occur to everyone everyday yet too many times we allow them to pass us by never really realizing them for all they are.

Four years ago I was encouraged to leave my job of several years. My daughter was beginning her nursing career and I agreed to take care of my grandkids on the days that she worked her 12 hours shifts. For any of you who know anything about me you know that this probably took little if any encouragement as I love spending time with my grandkids. The time that I was allowed to share with them in the early years of their lives will forever be one of my fondest blessings. We spent days not worried about whether or not the house was tidy and spotless. A new episode of SpongeBob Squarepants was far more important. We did not have to sit still and be quiet; we sang as loud as we pleased and danced to our hearts content whenever we felt like it. Yet my favorite times would have to be the evenings before bedtime. Tucking them in with plenty of hugs and kisses; reading them one two or maybe three bedtime stories, then of course those talks in the dark about all the occurrences of the day before and pondering on all the questions that life had to offer. These many moments of bliss by far helped me to realize the need to enjoy and relish the tiny blessings of life.

Yet sooner than I would have liked, they moved and my daily routine was drastically changed again. I had grown accustomed to these little contentments that had come my way and I missed having them. I knew that I would have to find these joys in other ways. I turned to my garden. I had a great love for the out of doors and the magic that Mother Earth can give. I had been taught this love by my grandma as well as another woman in my early life named Thelma. Both instilled in me a love of the garden, whether it be flower, herbs, or vegetable. They taught me the wonders that the earth can give to one if we only but tend her.

So I turned to my own yard and began to cultivate. There is something about the smell of the earth as it is turned and the fresh soil is uncovered. Vincent always gets upset with me because I do not wear my gloves when I tend my yard yet there is just something about the feel of it against my bare skin that I do not want to miss. I am just as bad in wearing shoes. I think I would go barefoot all the time if I could get by with it. The fresh grass against ones bare feet is one of my favorite senses.

Over the last few years I have worked my yard intently learning each year something new in regards to what to grow, how to grow it and how to tend it. I have cultivated my seeds and reharvested them again the next year. I love the fact that I am planting new generations of my plants. This last summer my sunflowers were third generation and next I will plant a fourth. I have raised a small oak from what was a small sapling when we first moved here to now a young tree which towers well above my head. These simple joys are things I would not trade for anything and I am so thankful that I was given the chance to realize them and also to appreciate them… I love that I am easily pleased; that something that cost nothing can make me so happy and feel so complete. I love that I have such simple things in my life to bring me the joy that surrounds me on a daily basis. I love that my eyes and my mind as well as my heart is open so that I can see the blessings that are everywhere each day. And I love that I do not allow the petty things in life to sit too heavy on me knowing that when it all comes to an end these things usually are not that important anyway.

What do you love about yourself? Ask yourself that question and you may just be surprised with what your answer may be.


Kristen said...

That is not a hard question for me anymore. The thing I love about myself is my dedication to my family. You are so right about the little treasures. I have a husband of 20 years who is my best friend and my greatest fan, a 17 year old daughter sprouting into adulthood and a 5 year old son that is so happy to explore the world. No matter what else goes wrong around me this is where I belong. Oh I will also have to mention that I have also had the pleasure of assisting my Weeping Willow in its growing cycles she keeps me grounded.
Once again thank you so much for your messages they help me look into myself and see the goodness!

faerwillow said...

~so gracefully written with truth in each many do not realize the abundance that sits before them waiting to be seen and appreciated...may you always be filled with l♥ve...for both great and small...within you and upon you...your eyes are open and it is apperant to all who come here and spread and share your blessings daily and help others to think and see! much l♥ve and light upon you and yours~

the wild magnolia said...

Beautiful, loving post, giving us something to think about for our individual lives.

Your writing is moves easily and brings comfort and words of encouragement.

Thank you.

Teresa said...

What a wonderful, genuine post. I think a person truly has to love themselves to be brave enough to do these 30 Posts of Truth.

audrey said...

This is another beautiful post, Janie. You have a gift for writing. You seem to be able to put your feelings down on paper in a cohesive way that reads smoothly and easily and certainly gets the point across.
Your giving nature must be because you have this love of self and definitely love for others.
I enjoyed reading this ~ your words always make me stop and ponder on my blessings. Thank you, Janie.
♥ audrey

Wendy said...

It takes a wise person to be able to love the quiet beauty of the earth, children and life in general. Thank you for all your gifts you so generously share.

Tracy DeLuca said...

This is something that I have struggled with for years. I have a hard time being satisfied and happy with myself, much less loving myself. I work at it. And I find that sad, the fact that I have to work at loving myself. It's not that there aren't plenty of great things about me. It's that I am too much of a perfectionist. I always see what I need to improve, not what I have accomplished. If that makes any sense.

Since getting braeden's diagnosis this has been even harder for me. I struggle daily with feeling inadequate, being depressed and blaming myself.

Thank you for the reminder that I need to work even more towards this ultimate goal.

mxtodis123 said...

This is a lovely post and says so much about what a wonderful person you are. I had to chuckle when I came to the part about working in your garden. I was much the same...never could wear gloves. My hands were generally sliced up from weeding, but everything had to be natural.

AkasaWolfSong said...

Oh I love this simple, sharing post! It speaks volumes...

I think the one thing I love most about myself right now is embracing Cronehood and being a is so different than how I had imagined it. There truly is something magickal about our Wee Ones that bring the best out in us!

Thank you for such a Blessing in reading your words Janie!!!

Susan said...

That was such a wonderful read! Truly, I wanted to be you there for a few moments.

I used to love all the little things of life also. However, I have really had a rough life right from about 3 months old on. The unfair part is that I'd get a few good years (not great, never great) and I'd be happy, and think to myself; "I finally got rid of my "Charlie Brown" cloud"...only to have another big crash come, followed by a few years of nothing but bad...seriously people who know us, say all the time, "if it wasn't for bad luck, you guys wouldn't have any luck at all". Some of the Bad crashes were worse than other, like the summer of 2001, when hubby had a massive heart attack on father's day morning, followed by a 2nd one within 5 days, then double bypass surgery, while recovering in the heart hospital, I ended up with one of my lovely kidney stones moving, and we got a phone call from Florida that my mom was rushed to the hosp. with chest pain...she did NOT have a heart attack, but catherization showed that all of her coronary arteries were block, she had to have 5 bypasses. Then my Best white Sheppard "Honey" got ill. Hubby was home now, I was trying to flush my stone, mom was still in the hospital. The dog was being treated as if it was a bladder infection, and things weren't getting any better. hubby would be out of work til mid sept. I was not working except for per diem, and now with the stone, i wasn't working due to pain meds. and caring for Ron. Mom went home. My sister flew down to help with her for a week. While there, my mom collapsed. apparently the hospital discharged her with 2 different BP meds instead of one, so her BP was way too low. luckily they caught it and fixed her up and sent her home. We found out my dog did not have an infection, there was a huge tumor enveloping her entire bladder and one of the ureters (tube from kidney to bladder. She was put down 8/10/01. The next day we get another call from florida, one of the long full leg incisions (where they harvested a vein for her bypass) was infected...back to the hospital.(in the mean time NONE of our bill companies would work with us, about Hubby and I not working, and we had to file bankruptcy)

Then 9/11/01 happened.

and that is how things go for us. so after graduating college in 2000, and finally starting a F/T position in MRI in 2002. (rather than the per diem x-ray positions I held) things were looking up. Now i did have bad knees and neck issues already from a serious car wreck years before, but in 2005 I got injured on the job...seriously. I became permanently disabled after only working in my field 5 years, after going back to school later in life, and taking on student loans, so my hubby could retire on time. now, he HAS to stay working, he is 69.
and so it has made me bitter and a bit cynical. I am afraid I REALLY have to push myself to see anything good. While happiness, is just a dream I hope to achieve yet again sometime in my life. I have some moments each day where my son's dog will make me laugh, or having my kittie on my lap makes me feel loved. But I have a long way to go. I long for the day I have a grandchild.
My kids are girl-28, boy-24.5, girl-23.
all single, oldest graduating college in May after many years of changing her mind, and is planning on immediately going to graduate school. my son is a far way from grown-up and has ADHD and ODD, has given up on meds and/or counseling. and my youngest is a no grandbabies in my near future.

we have always had a vegetable garden, but the past 5 years hubby has only worked it 2 years out of the five and on a much smaller scale.

I think we are both feeling rather defeated. I am trying to help myself with these 30 days of truth and journaling.

Great luck to you and all your endeavors.